Do follow your kids on every social media app they have on their electronic device? Do you have any idea the kinds of things that are going on behind your back right in front of your face if you don't follow them? Maybe it's time to pick up a phone or iPod or computer and start following your kids on Instagram, Facebook (did you know that back in October FB dropped it's safety barriers for teenagers!), kik, vine, snapchat (actually this shouldn't even be allowed to be accessed by teenagers!), Oovoo, Tumblr, Twitter, etc. Follow their friends, too. Keep your wits about you and don't comment on everything you don't agree with (Oh yeah, I'm totally preaching to myself here!) BUT if you see a red flag, then please, say something. Last year the "harmful fun" on Instagram (or IG) was to make a frame with 4 or 5 faces in it and than hold a "contest" to see who was ugliest or least popular. It is an awful game. Our kids already have self esteem problems and now they're voting against each other?! Thankfully, I had just read an article about this very demeaning process and knew what was going on so I intervened. I made it perfectly clear that everyone is beautiful and that they should be building each other up and not tearing each other down. Fortunately, this girl took it down and apologized for her lack of better judgement. There isn't anything that the schools will do about it, so we as parents need to step up and take a proactive stance on these social media monsters. Here's a snippet of what I see on IG every once in awhile. You don't need to know who... just what....
Charming... Don't know what "BJ's" stands for in a typical teen mind? Go ask your kids. I don't want my girls having to see or listen to this kind of rubbish. I know some of it is unavoidable and we use that as a teaching tool. I'm not ignorant, but I do wish that we would teach our children what is and isn't appropriate for public consumption! AND I really wish that they knew them that everything they have ever posted is out there...Deleted or not. You cannot undo what is done once it's on the internet. EVER!
We need to teach our children that speech comes in the form of the typed word, even if it's only 140 characters ...Ephesians 4:29 says "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths (read: keyboard), but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear". Here's another great verse I need to remember.... Ephesians 5:4,8-10 says "Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. 8 - for at one time you were darkness, but now you are the light in the Lord. Walk as children of the light for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true, and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord".
Our girls signed a cell phone contracts when they got their phones. I followed this contract posted by my friend Susan at iMom.com. Before that, when they got iPads and/or iPods they were required to sign contracts for them as well. They know that their phones will be checked randomly and if we see things we don't like, they will loose their phones (or other electronics). So far, so good. It'll be interesting one day if one looses the phone and the other doesn't. In the past, we have disciplined one and not the other and the one not punished usually takes the punishment anyway so they can "do things together". Interesting dynamic these twins!
It's so easy to brush this whole social media thing under the rug when we don't understand how it all works. I know. My mom still can't belive how much I've grasped and actually use this thing we call technology! However, I really do recommend finding a friend who understands all things social media, have her teach you what you need to know to get started and then get involved in what your kids are doing online. Randomly check their phones. Know their passwords at all times! Follow their friends. You may be surprised. Sometimes pleasantly, sometimes not so much, but hey! at least you'll know!
So I will end with this.... Colossians 4:6 - "Let your speech (or online activity) always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person."
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