Social Media

Do follow your kids on every social media app they have on their electronic device?    Do you have any idea the kinds of things that are going on behind your back right in front of your face if you don't follow them?  Maybe it's time to pick up a phone or iPod or computer and start following your kids on Instagram, Facebook (did you know that back in October FB dropped it's safety barriers for teenagers!), kik, vine, snapchat (actually this shouldn't even be allowed to be accessed by teenagers!), Oovoo, Tumblr, Twitter, etc.  Follow their friends, too.  Keep your wits about you and don't comment on everything you don't agree with (Oh yeah, I'm totally preaching to myself here!) BUT if you see a red flag, then please, say something.  Last year the "harmful fun" on Instagram (or IG) was to make a frame with 4 or 5 faces in it and than hold a "contest" to see who was ugliest or least popular.  It is an awful game.  Our kids already have self esteem problems and now they're voting against each other?!  Thankfully, I had just read an article about this very demeaning process and knew what was going on so I intervened.  I made it perfectly clear that everyone is beautiful and that they should be building each other up and not tearing each other down.  Fortunately, this girl took it down and apologized for her lack of better judgement.  There isn't anything that the schools will do about it, so we as parents need to step up and take a proactive stance on these social media monsters.  Here's a snippet of what I see on IG every once in awhile.  You don't need to know who... just what....

Charming... Don't know what "BJ's" stands for in a typical teen mind? Go ask your kids.  I don't want my girls having to see or listen to this kind of rubbish.  I know some of it is unavoidable and we use that as a teaching tool.  I'm not ignorant, but I do wish that we would teach our children what is and isn't appropriate for public consumption!  AND I really wish that they knew them that everything they have ever posted is out there...Deleted or not.  You cannot undo what is done once it's on the internet.  EVER!

We need to teach our children that speech comes in the form of the typed word, even if it's only 140 characters ...Ephesians 4:29 says "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths (read: keyboard), but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear".  Here's another great verse I need to remember.... Ephesians 5:4,8-10 says "Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.  8 - for at one time you were darkness, but now you are the light in the Lord.  Walk as children of the light for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true, and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord".

Our girls signed a cell phone contracts when they got their phones.  I followed this contract posted by my friend Susan at iMom.com.  Before that, when they got iPads and/or iPods they were required to sign contracts for them as well.  They know that their phones will be checked randomly and if we see things we don't like, they will loose their phones (or other electronics).  So far, so good.  It'll be interesting one day if one looses the phone and the other doesn't.  In the past, we have disciplined one and not the other and the one not punished usually takes the punishment anyway so they can "do things together".  Interesting dynamic these twins!

It's so easy to brush this whole social media thing under the rug when we don't understand how it all works.  I know.  My mom still can't belive how much I've grasped and actually use this thing we call technology!  However, I really do recommend finding a friend who understands all things social media, have her teach you what you need to know to get started and then get involved in what your kids are doing online.  Randomly check their phones.  Know their passwords at all times!  Follow their friends.  You may be surprised.  Sometimes pleasantly, sometimes not so much, but hey! at least you'll know!

So I will end with this.... Colossians 4:6 - "Let your speech (or online activity) always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person."

Modesty

We as women have a responsibility to men everywhere to be modest.  You can put the weight back on them, and say that they just shouldn't look, but the truth is, God made them to appreciate and see beauty in women.  Therefore, we need to learn to look at ourselves 360* in a mirror to make sure we aren't putting anything out there that we wouldn't want some 14 year old kid looking (and yes, that age is looking!!) at.  Or heck, even a 94 year old dude.  Yeah, no matter how old they are, they are gonna look!!  I know this because my dad is in his early 70's and he still looks!  You may want to catch the eye of a certain guy, but dressing in a sexy way is actually going to catch the eye of every man that you pass in the restaurant or movie theater or Target or the mall or wherever else you may be.  And girls, there is a time and a place for a teeny-weeny bikini, but it's not at the beach or at a public pool or at a church event.  Respect men enough to put on a one piece or at the very least, a tankini.  Heck, respect yourself enough to cover up a bit and save your body for the man that God has picked out for you!  Leave something to the imagination!!

Proverbs 31:31 says "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."  And 1 Timothy 2:9-10 says "likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness - with good works."  NOW WAIT .... Before you go getting all mad at me, or Paul, about not being able to do your hair or wear jewelry, check this out : My ESV study Bible commentary says this "Paul addresses particular concerns in regard to each gender.  The issue for men is anger and for women it is modesty and proper submission.  "not with... gold or costly attire" Paul is not prohibiting the wearing of jewelry (see note on 1 Peter 3:3-4) the principle is that women should not dress ostentatiously or seductively, but in a way that is proper.  True doctrine produces good works."

There is a way to dress nicely and respectfully and also be attractive (see the book of Esther...she participated in beauty treatments but did not overindulge AND she caught the eye of King Xerses out of hundreds of women being paraded in front of him...now what does THAT say??!!)  

I love Pinterest because it's chock full of great outfits that aren't too trampy or sexy.  Here are a few pictures to get you thinking about how to dress modestly, yet attractively... (all photos are screenshots from my Pinterest account.  Some go directly to www.polyvore.com.)

Chic in jeans ... 

Cropped jeans, tucked in t-shirt (so as to not have the crack in the back (!)), a jacket in case it's cool inside and a sexy pair of heels.  Tres chic, as our French friend would say!

Casual and cute ...

Comfy pair of kahkis, plain white tee shirt, flat pair of sandals and a cute scarf.  Perfect for a day outing anywhere!

Beautiful tankini that I actually tried on at Everything But Water at our local mall.  It covers everything, yet is a bit on the sexy side... but not trashy!  Great for a "mixed" get together!!

And how cute is this tankini?  I love it!  Very youthful and free!  And not tacky!  See?  Swimsuits can attract attention... the RIGHT kind of attention!!!

For my plus sized readers... check out these fashions... straight off of Pinterest, too!

Shiny top, belted right under the bust to create a slimming line and fitted jeans rolled up with boots (or pair with flats or a shoe with a bit of a heel for a spring/summer look)!

Cute again!  Fitted jeans, striped top (oh yes she did!), WITH a tweed jacket to break up the stripes, kitten heels and a fun scarf.  Voila!  Sexy and modest!

How fun is this swimsuit?  She looks great!  And black is ALWAYS slimming!  Always!!  LOVE the ruffled edges!  AND hoop earrings.  What a great touch!!

Add a bit of color... don't be scared!  She's added some shades and pigtails (I don't recommend the pigtails, but that's just me!  LOL!!)  Some earrings and beauty by the pool!  

Happy Pinterest shopping!  I'm always eager to help you look your best and be your best.  Let me know if I can help.